its been a crazy for the past few days .
slept less than 5 hours a day.
so many prayers to do adn so many guests to serve .
its was catered for hundred people .
but the guests wont stop coming .
especially on the last day .
they can come as early as 10 in the morning .
and go home around 2 in the wee hours .



grandma finally rest .
what i heard from her nurse is that .
she passed away after coughing twice ,.
very softly . consider sleep away? definately .
grandma somehow know her days are numbered .
she ate almost everything tjhat was prepared for her .
she sometime asked for more .
her diet is strict , she doesn;t want to take in sweet stuffs . neither fried .
but past few months , she doesn't hesitate .
she request also that if something were to go wrong , dont need to imply further implications .
no need ER, no need operation , just resting adn medication will do .
uncles understood her meaning . we respected her .
uncle was companying her til 12 plus then he was asked to go back .
never did we know that she will left us 5 hours later .



it was sad that no one were able to 'send' her off .
but seeing her lying at her final bed is like usual sleeping .
but with no snoring .
she has a smiling face , but somehow lifeless and darker .
mum cried too many times . but she was able to hold it back after the 2nd day .
i never sleep the first night .
so afraid of her coming back to scold me .
she used to reprimand me everytime i drink soft drinks .
she will also reprimand me when i come home to late .
the last time she scolded me was earlier this year . i was watching socer with my cousin .
then she woke up to use the bathroom . ' do u know what time is this?'
we cant do much . we off for a while , wait for her to go back to the room then go back watching~
idiots right? to think about it now? no one will ever care the way she did .



the journey to her resting place takes around 1half hour .
there were 3 presidential police to escort us there .
totalling round 15 cars including buses
some 70 over sent her off together .
grandfather is going to be placed besides her as well .
the place is beautiful . with the view of mountains surrounding
there's few rivers that flows day and night throughout the years without stop .
she will like it there with her VIP neighbours .
the sky is windy , neither a sight of dark clouds nor strong rays of sun .




no more buying supper for her .
no more visiting her once i landed in jakarta .
no more scoldings even if i dont go home .
no more more everyone rushed just to ger something that she wants .
god , she's really a nice person .
uncle told me , no matter how late of sick of her .
dining table never failed to hold some dishes and rice .
in her mind , everyone that is hungry can eat anytime they want .
no one can touch ehr children or grandchildren .
she's very fierce when it comes to her family .
she can hit on other children but other parents cant hit on us . cool shit .
the least we can do now is to do what ever she used to tell us .
i am proud to be in this family .
seriousy proud .
i have all kinds of uncle that excel in all kind of fields .
a strict yet noble family rule to follow .



coming back tmr noon ,
1 thirty flight .
reaching 3 thirty . with my brother only .
mum's stil not stable .
she wil want to retrieve all the left over memories in the house .
tests are coming . i hate to say life goes on .
put it this way . u lost something huge on your way , but the train dont wait for u .
49 days without red shirt .
grandma rest in peace :)